The Burden of Life

The garbage truck noise from outside does not just wake me up, it adds to the headache. The smell of garbage in combination with the acidic taste at the
back of my throat is all I am going to have for breakfast. I need to make a
decision, fast, and I need to check on some facts.

Getting up is easy, staying on my own two feet is more challenging. The phone
rings. The heavy slavic accent is enough to understand that this is Anna.

[Anna] Mark? Are you awake?
Yeah
[Anna] You sound awful. You have to come by the office, the editor wants to see you.
Be right there, I'll get coffee on the way. See you.
[Anna] Mark wait. There's a message for you.
Go on.
[Anna] It was a man's voice, he said "The wind is shaking the barley".
I asked his name, he told me "The Dubliner".
Thanks Anna, it's an old friend, he is trying to be cute. Don't worry.
[Anna] Mark, be careful.

There is no Dubliner. Coffee in one hand cigarette in the other, the only part
of the day worth waking up for. The trip to the magazine's office gave me enough time to prepare for Nick the Editor.

Anna, is he in.
[Anna] Yes but he is on the phone. Wait... You can go in now.
Hi Nick.
[Nick] Mark, you pervert, you did it again. Your piece on College sex
parties was a thrill. They all loved it.
Thanks, does that mean that you are increasing the limit on my expense account.
[Nick] Mark, I said it was nice, I didn't say it's up for a Pulitzer.
We really liked the piece and we want it in ASAP it's just that some of the board thought
the details wanted a bit more, shall we say, polishing up. We would like to attract
a broader audience.
Oh, the board. Yes. Any suggestions?
[Nick] Yes, yes. Here I have a copy with some markups and some ideas. Have a look.

He hands me a print out that looks like a punched-out, mouth-bleeding monkey spit blood on the page.

Well, I see the board has put some thinking into this.
[Nick] Mark, do not take this personally we are all professionals here.
When do you need this back.
[Nick] Knew you'll see it the right way. We are off to the printers at 8pm sharp.
If you take all the recommendations as is, you can give it to Anna at 8 and
she'll take care of it.
Got it.
[Nick] Also, there is this story down south, back of a pub, rape murder and the like.
Though it would be your cup of tee. What to you think.
South ha, haven't been there for a while, might be fun.
[Nick] Excellent.
I'll get out of your way Nick. Thanks
[Nick] It's all good, mate. It's all good.

Anna is seating on the desk, acting all proper and work worthy. As soon as I close
the door she jumps out of her chair, walks in front of me and whispers.

[Anna] Ladies room, now.

Anna is a fine piece of arse. The combination of a meeting in the ladies room and
her arse wiggling it's way there is just too much. As soon as I open the door a
firm slap in the face proves to me that coffee and cigarettes wake you up in
the morning, but a slap really kicks you of your feet.

[Anna] You are a bastard. You are a heartless piece of shit.
So we have met then.
[Anna] Don't play macho with me. You disappeared for the whole weekend. I was waiting for
a call. The weather man said it was going to be sunny and I wanted to go out.
We did not have plans for this weekend.
[Anna] You are an idiot. I even called your place.
I was out.
[Anna] Sure, you went out. Dragena saw you up in the colleges again. You were up there
fucking little bitches, you bastard.

Another slap accompanied that firm tone of voice.

I went up there as a favor to a friend that helped me on the piece about colleges.
I told you last week, remember.
[Anna] I can't believe I am in the same situation again.
I was not fucking anyone, I was up there as a favor to a friend.
[Anna] Shut up. Your excuses are pathetic. You think I am as stupid as your little
college bitches. Fuck you.
Listen I am a mess already, Nick threw another bomb at me right now and wants it
in by 8 and I have to go see "The Dubliner". I'd like to talk about this,
but this is not the time.
[Anna] Of course, now it's not the time. Suddenly "old friends" are popping up left and right
and you have to go do favors.

She comes closer, I am betting she is going for a knee to the groin. I am too tired to react in
any other way other than letting this show reach its conclusion on its own.

[Anna] You smell like shit.
Bad night, had a couple of drinks, went down the wrong pipe, then they came up again.

She smells me like a hound dog, checks me up top to bottom. She pushes me to the wall.

[Anna] Are you on meth again?
No, just whiskey. Don't ask me how much, I can't remember.
[Anna] You are a filthy slob.

Her lips touch mine, she bites really hard while her hands unbuckle my pants.
The conniving whore uses her mouth to figure out if I've got another woman's sent on my dick.
Can't really complain though, she is good at her job. She gets up.

[Anna] You might be telling the truth, but I am still mad. Are you going to stay in the office
to finish the piece?
Actually, I need to go check this message you took. I was thinking I could also
cross reference a tip I got last night about this story down south.
[Anna] Nick gave it to you?
That is what Nick thinks. Could you be a dear and help me out with the edit. It's in red.

She smiles, takes the print out and kicks me in the nuts.

[Anna] You are an incorrigible bastard.
Love you too honey.
[Anna] Do not call me that.
I'll drop by tonight, we'll go to dinner.
[Anna] Can't do it tonight. I've got an old friend and I am doing him ... a favor.

She closes the door and I fall to the ground gasping for air. As soon as I can breath and
stretch my back without fainting from the pain, I drag my arse across the room and wash my
face. As my hands move down carrying the cheap towels that do not absorb water, they simply
push water like a car whipper, I take a look at my reflection. Shit does not describe it.

The door opens and Carrol, miss perfect suburbia, walks in.

[Carrol] Wrong bathroom pervert.

I close my pants, reassuringly smile and turn towards her.

I beg to differ, dear.

---

The repeated sound of the train while crossing the bridge is soothing. Almost like a lullaby.
The view is remarkable. Seen it a thousand times but it's always been at times of trouble or
distress that the repetitive becomes clear, untainted and real.

On one side of the river the majestic, tall skyscrapers. Clean lines, clean glass that
reflects an image of its surroundings. That is what one first experiences. The reflection is
the trick. Show them a wavy image of their city. The part at least that was designed with the
same idea in mind. A perfect silver city. An image, show us an image and hide the real
picture. Whatever that is. I hate the corporate type, the style, the aromas, their rituals.
Still, you can't make the whole circus run without them.

On the other side, "down south". Small houses, old, dirty roads, people in the streets,
voices. No reflection here. Mind you they have their own suits, aromas, style and rituals.
After all humans like herds. Don't like these parts either. "Keep it real", is now a slogan.
They are all immersed into their own perception of what others have dictated them to do. The
few exceptions, on either side of the river, struggle to either show off they are not part of
the mold or pretend they are part of the mold so that they can live in peace alone. Free will.
He left them free on this rock and they copied every little detail of what defines Heaven and
Hell. And they scare them into believing that once they die there is a worse, and a better,
place that awaits. Ha ha. HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA.

[Passenger] Oe, you, shut the fuck up.
Ha ha, oh. Thinking of a joke a mate told me before getting on the train.
[Passenger] Well shit sherlock you got it, congrats. Now shut up we got kids here and you
scaring them.

He had two kids by his side. One of them looked frightened the other kept smiling at me. The
kid started advancing slowly and playfully towards me. The man, looked like his father, pulled
him from his coat towards his right leg.

[Passenger] Don't, you hear me. Or I'll slap you till kingdom come.

I smile back at the kid and walk away.

---

Out of the train station and the smell of the street hits me. Wakes me up like nothing else. I
take a pick at the little paper Nick gave me for the address. Bleeding moron, "back of a pub"
he says. It's the "Rat and Parrot".

Before going in I clip the journalist ID card on my coat's pocket.

[Bartender] Oy mate, we closed.
I am not here for drinks, I'm here about some rape or something?
[Bartender] You vultures smell misery a mile away and need to put in the papers.

He spits on the floor.

[Bartender] The govner is in the back. Ask' im, I just work ere.
Thanks.

It's a heavy dark red door. No label on it, so it's either the bathroom or the managers
office, either way one of two jobs that I have in mind will get done. The knock on the door
gets an immediate reply "Come in". Laughingly I think to myself, this better not be the
toilets.

Hallo, I am a reporter and I was send here on accounts of an incident that took place last
night behind your establishment.

The old, squeaky chair turns slowly and to my surprise, McManus.

[McManus] Well well, Mark is it.

He smiles and gets up, walks towards me, extends his right arm for a hand shake and closes the
door with his left.

You are "The Dubliner", you wanker.
[McManus] How they hanging boss?
Barely. What brings you done here?
[McManus] Been ere for bouts a year now. Pubs me life mate.
Can't take the whiskey out of an Irish man, aye?
[McManus] Sit, want a glass?
Sure, give me your best
[McManus] Only the best in me pub, govner. hahah
So, what happened here then?

He hands me the glass of whiskey takes his and sits on his chair.

[McManus] Boss, I ain't the kind with words. Something happened ere last night. The Red White
and Blues came and did their dance. Before that me and Deirdre cleaned the scene.
She hasn't left your sorry arse yet?
[McManus] We the best drinkers and the best lover boss.
What ever helps you sleep at night.

We touch glasses and drink the whiskey like it's a shot of water and bang the glasses down on
the desk

Why did you wait for something to happen to contact me?
[McManus] Me woman set me straight. Friends like you was the first thing to go.
And now?
[McManus] now's different. Deirdre started taking pitures and then started picking up shit.
Then she nailed me to the wall and whispered your name. It's all it took.
Oh, she does have a voice then. Were are the photos and the memorabilia?
[McManus] In me drawer.

He takes out a wrapped cloth, half soaked in blood, and unwraps it slowly on his desk. An
old knife, rusty on the edges, small red pieces of meat. Seem like pieces from human organs
and a handkerchief. McManus picks up the handkerchief and holds it tightly in his fist.

Nice collection you got there mate.
[McManus] Aye.
Rape my arse then. Someone killed the woman.
[McManus] The woman is dead, yes.
You got my attention McManus, whoever did this he knew what he was doing.
[McManus] You getting sloppy there govner. It knew what it was doing.
Fair enough. I recognize the knife, it's the little human steak tips that confuse me. It's
been some time since my last anatomy class.
[McManus] Getting old are we. Placenta ring any bells?
Did she gave birth?
[McManus] No.
Then I'd like to use a life line and open fist number one.
[McManus] Nothing too interesting, just a hanky, with a monogram.

He opens up his fist. Like a rose opening its petals in spring. The monogram is in the
bottom left corner, but the wrinkles make it hard to read. I try to take the handkerchief from
his hand. McManus closes his fist sharply.

[McManus] Cimeries, I am a changed man. After the shit hit the fan back home I cut a deal.
I know. I heard something about it.
[McManus] I did not sell you out. Dante and his labrador gave me a choice. I could stay under
Dante's rule and work for him, or I could turn human.
But that was not exactly what you were offered...
[McManus] You are a cunt. No. If I stayed in Hell, Deirdre dies.
If you became human, Deirdre lives and you get to hear her speak.
[McManus] Yes, me and only me.
So when is little McManus Jr going to meet the world.

McManus breaks into tears. Never seen one of my warriors, let alone my second captain, the one
demon who has survived the most along my side, break into tears over words.

Easy, I was just trying to let you know that you decisions are your own and there are no hard
feelings.
[McManus] I know. I know. Deirdre can not have kids. Dante made sure of that after we both
became human. After she gave her speech and gave me the only ear that listens. He raped her.
Over and over again. I was tight down and I could hear her screams. But that was not enough.
He then took her womb and threw it to his hell hounds for an appetizer.

I got up and filled the two glasses with more whiskey. Gave him his glass. He started coming
around. He looked up at me, smiled and raised his glass.

[McManus] To the old days.
No, I can't drink to that mate.
[McManus] That is all I have left Cimeries.
Not true, Vlad.
[McManus] Haven't herd that for a long time.
I know, been there, fuck that. Consider that my toast.
[McManus] Don't you want to see the monogram.
JS?
[McManus] You saw it you old cunt.
Just the first letter, the second was then easy to guess.
[McManus] Hope I do not see you again Cimeries.
Keep hoping.

I smile, turn around and start walking towards the door.

[McManus] Feed my curiosity, what's next?
Vlad, you were never curious, nor an Irish.
[McManus] You were never a reporter
I am off to see a couple of people about a baby.
[McManus] Fuck off Cimeries.
Ditto Vlad. Bye Deirdre.
[McManus] She says to watch yourself.
I'll do my best.